Make Your Own (Drunk) History at the Front Porch in Denver

Drink and learn at the Front Porch

I love a good night out at the bar, and also a well told piece of history, so it is no wonder that one of my favorite things on the internet still to this day is Drunk History. I love watching it, and I love making it. I know it’s nothing new, but it’s funny every time you watch it. At the Front Porch, the drinks are cheap, the people are friendly and the atmosphere is ripe to make a little drunken history of your own by possibly getting all of your drinks for free. After all, every day (and night) at the Front Porch is a chance to drink for free.

Conversation starters

Now, most will think that talking about history at the bar is a no no. You are supposed to stick to lighter topics like sports or movies or the new skinny jeans you just bought, but thanks to Funny or Die’s Drunk History, it is safe for you history nerds to come out of the closet and start telling stories of the past, all while enjoying several great drinks from Denver’s hottest bar. The more you drink, the more fun your history tales will be to your audience. Of course, you don’t need to drink as much as the poor drunkards in the Funny or Die skits, cause let’s face it, no one likes a sloppy drunk at the bar, and if no one can understand what you are saying, then it really doesn’t matter what piece of fascinating history you are trying to impress people with. So, drink responsibly (there mom, I said it, are you happy now, can I go on and write the rest of the blog now?)!

Did you know…

To get you started on your drunk history night at the Front Porch in downtown Denver, I’ve found this little known historical gem that you can delight your fellow drinkers with.

Canoodling Canoeists on the Charles River

After the Charles River in Boston was damned (as in “hey, look at that damn” not as in “damn you, Charles River”), the river soon became a hotbed for lovers in canoes. Long after dark the river would be flooded with canoodling canoeists, causing the state’s Metropolitan Parks Commission (MPC) to crack down on these “obscenities”. New regulations prohibited “any obscene or indecent act” in the confines of the Charles River reserve. In practice, this meant that couples of the opposite sex could not kiss, embrace, lay down in their canoe or conceal themselves or their actions. Park rangers flooded the area in the summer of 1903 and a local man became the first to fall foul of the MPC’s prophylactic regulations:

“No longer will the young man with the white ducks and canvas shoes be permitted to hold the paddle with one hand and the waist of his best girl with the other… Recently the park commissioners decided that an arm around the waist, a kiss stolen on the sly or a parasol so held that those nearby could not see the faces of the occupants constituted an offence punishable by a fine… In the quiet shade of a giant tree as their canoe skated slowly in the water, Matthew Petersen of Dorchester improved the occasion to plant a kiss upon the lips of Miss Flora Smith of New York, the couple was arrested.”

The Front Porch

Here in Denver’s hottest bar in the LoDo district, the liquor is flowing and conversation is buzzing. Come in an enjoy the casual atmosphere while enjoying cheap drinks and friendly faces. This is the place to come after a grueling work day to relax, laugh and enjoy a good story or two. And if you’re lucky, you’ll be enjoying all of those drinks for free! Check out our name calendar, or stop by on Wednesdays for Flip Night, where the coin decides your fate, and the size of your bar tab.