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20 Mustaches that Molded History: Part 1

New Friday series! 20 Mustaches that Molded History. Here’s Part 1!

20. Hulk Hogan

Hulk’s weapon of choice is a horseshoe mustache, it is easily distinguishable a full mustache with vertical extensions grown on the corners of the lips and down the sides of the mouth to the jawline. The ‘stache resembles an upside-down U or a horseshoe, thus the name. The mustache is a perfect fit for the WWF wrestling champion because it represents a symbol of masculinity.

The horseshoe is often confused with the Fu Manchu, which is grown only from the upper lip while the sides remain shaven.

“Hulk Hogan, really, while wearing a mustache, brought wrestling into the mainstream, made it much more a part of the American sports entertainment landscape and was looked upon, beyond just his wrestling ability, but as an idol to many young children for his work ethic, and of course his mustache.” – AMI Chairman Aaron Perlut

Hulk’s grooming advice: “Always keep it even, long enough to cover part of your lip, but not too long to cover your teeth. And always, always, always keep it clean! The first one who is going to smell it is you, so keep it clean brother!”

Hulk has become one with his ‘stache and cementented the iconic image of a horseshoe mustache into pop culture and the history books. He couldn’t have done it alone, here are some other greats who contributed to the horseshoe history: NFL legend Joe Namath, Cowboy actor Sam Elliott, ’70s Hollywood star Elliott Gould, Metallica frontman James Hetfield, and Guns N’ Roses Fromtman Axl Rose.

19. Wyatt Earp

Wyatt Earp (1848-1929) wore a handlebar mustache which is easily detectable by lengthy and upwardly curved extremities. Its’ name derives from its resemblance to the handlebars of a bicycle.

Wyatt Earp was as much of a renaissance man to the Wild West as Leonardo da Vinci was to ancient Italy. However, his skill set did not include: painter, sculptor, architect, musician, scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, or geologist. Rather, Earp was a master gunfighter, gambler, teamster, farmer, miner, occasional boxing referee, and his travels took him from Kansas to Alaska to California.

He is best known for this role in the infamous gunfight at the OK Coral. Equally as important, Earp is famous for having a bad ass mustache. His whiskers alone could strike fear in the souls of cowboys from Dodge City to the the Dakota Territory.

Wyatt Earp’s mustache could be on a billboard for the Wild West as it both defined and transcended an era. The ‘stache itself was long, lush, well-maintained but also had a rowdy side. He and his mustache undeniably left their mark on the history of this country, and for that his mustache will never be forgotten.

18. Ron Burgundy

Ron Joseph Aaron Burgundy is a great man and the rock that holds the news team together, in other words he is “the balls”. He is a big deal, Men want to be him and women (chicks) want to be on him. He has many leather bound books and his apartment smells of rich mahogany. – Burgundy Bio

Ron has pristine hair atop a 220lb frame of news anchor-sapien, he is, “like a god walking amongst mere mortals”. He has “a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine they make “Sinatra look like a hobo.” His mustache is a powerful aphrodisiac, hairs from his mustache brush are incredibly sought after to be used in love potions and fertility centers around the world. – Anchorman

Ron Burgundy is the manliest fictional news anchor to ever live. And of course, he had a kick ass mustache that injected the news with testosterone. – artofmanliness.com

17. The Village People

We will focus on the two most prolific mustaches of the group (Randy Jones and Glenn Hughes). Randy Jones (far left) is best known as the cowboy in Village People wearing a Mercury Mustache. When asked how he has kept his lip hair for all these years Randy replied: “I guess it must be because I’ve just got a big set of ‘em! It’s easy to be brave. Hey after all, I’m the guy who sings songs like “Macho Man,” “In the Navy,” and “YMCA.” One has to have balls to do all that. Besides, I like my mustache, so I’ve kept it since 1973.”

Glenn Hughes (second from the left) rocked an exorbitant horseshoe moustache and always wore a leather outfit which became his trademark. Glenn was named to People Magazine’s 1979 list of most beautiful people and with that ‘stache how could he not have been?

16. Mark Spitz

Mark Spitz was the Michael Phelps of American swimming before Michael Phelps was even born. He won seven gold medals at the 1972 Munich Olympic Games, a record Phelps broke when he won eight golds at the 2008 Olympics. However, the biggest difference between Spitz and Phelps is that Mark swam with a Thick Pyramidal ‘stache.

The birth of the furry caterpillar that encompassed his upper lip started in college when his coach told him he couldn’t grow a mustache. It took him four months and became a personal accomplishment.

Mark Spitz was quoted saying, “When I went to the Olympics, I had every intention of shaving the mustache off, but I realized I was getting so many comments about it—and everybody was talking about it—that I decided to keep it. I had some fun with a Russian coach who asked me if my mustache slowed me down. I said, ‘No, as a matter of fact, it deflects water away from my mouth, allows my rear end to rise and make me bullet-shaped in the water, and that’s what had allowed me to swim so great.’ He’s translating as fast as he can for the other coaches, and the following year every Russian male swimmer had a mustache.”

It is utterly disappointing Michael Phelps did not choose to continue the great legacy of wearing a mustache in the pool. Enjoy the second week of the XXX Olympiad in London and don’t forget to come down to the The Front Porch.

Have a great weekend everybody!

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